What's Your Relationship Design?Aug 21, 2023
Are you struggling with your current relationship?
Do you feel like you can't seem to communicate clearly to get your needs met while also nurturing your relationship?
Maybe you don't even know what your own needs are, and unconsciously hope the other person can magically meet them anyway.
When you feel like you are going in circles, each person feeling that they are not being heard, that their wants and needs aren't being met, conflict and resentment build up. Eventually you explode - or implode. And you may not even know why.
The Secret to Successful Relationships
The source of all breakdowns in relationships is that we don't know the truth of who we are - as individuals and as couples. That’s why generic strategies aimed at helping to improve relationships don’t ultimately work. It just keeps people stuck in the endless cycles of tolerating relationships, trying to fix them, or walking away only to repeat the same pattern.
Knowing the design of relationships changes all of this. Once you can see what is operating behind the scenes, you can let go of all the untruths and old stories that keep you stuck in old patterns and start creating a loving, intimate, joyful, and fulfilling relationship.
The Old Paradigm of Relationship Counseling
While there are many different approaches to improving and healing relationships, they have all depended on the premise of understanding the past. Knowing what each person brings to the relationship, and why they may be encountering issues requires delving into childhood experiences and traumas, past relationship patterns, wounds, and experiences. By understanding these, the goal is to reveal where patterns may be repeating themselves in the current relationship.
With this understanding, various techniques can help to consciously change how each person relates to themselves and each other. While these techniques can be very helpful, what is missing is a fundamental shift in consciousness.
That's because all of this depends on the ability to recall and process past experiences and the emotions and behaviors attached to them on a conscious level. But because we typically bury those in our unconscious, it can be a slow process to bring them to light. Even then, coping strategies that were helpful for survival at the time may actually be hindering the growth and healing that couples seek. They may keep some of this so deeply buried that memories are not accessible.
Whatever is not accessible consciously is still operating below the surface, impacting beliefs and behaviors that affect both the individual and the relationship. This can lead to hyperfocus on unearthing and dealing with past traumas rather than the energetics of the current relationship.
Cultivating a successful relationship doesn’t have to be hard work
What if you could have a map of the gifts and challenges inherent in each of your relationships?
Would you want a shortcut? One that can save so much time and emotional anguish by bringing the underlying dynamics into the light in an objective way - without shame, blame, guilt or trauma?
This is the value of Human Design
Relationships are made up of three distinct entities: me, you, and us. Each entity has a unique energy and needs, and a healthy relationship takes into account all three. But while we can often recognize each person as distinct, it can feel very abstract to visualize or sense what the "us" is and needs.
Human Design takes this abstract concept and translates it into a very easily understandable, concrete framework. Just as you have your individual design, you also have a unique design for each of your relationships.
In exploring the dynamics and interactions between the "me, you, and us" energies it's important to start with each individual. How are you each designed to be in the world? What are your unique gifts, challenges and needs? Where is your growth for this lifetime?
Understanding your individual design also illuminates how you each process your emotions, your thoughts, and your experiences. You have access to your unique decision-making process, including how you best enter a relationship in the first place.
Once each person understands how they are designed, the next step is to look at the relationship. With Human Design, you can see where you are likely to struggle for control, whether you need lots of outside interaction or are pretty self-sufficient. Where you find common ground, and where you are very different.
Dissolve the Mystery and Reveal the Truth
Unveiling these energetic patterns lifts the mystery of the dynamics operating within the relationship. Each individual can now see clearly what their relationship needs. What was hidden is now brought into plain sight. The idea of right or wrong, of blame or shame dissipates and each person can let go of this burden that they have been carrying. Instead, they are replaced by respect and understanding that are the foundation for intimacy and fulfillment in your lives and your relationship.
From here, the path forward is guided by the "me, you, and us" blueprints. Each person feels seen, needs are clear, and communication is much easier. When you encounter challenges and new situations, your Human Design blueprint is there to help you quickly identify how to meet them and navigate them with ease and grace.
Imagine how it would feel to have such a clear guide to help you navigate your relationship together.
Are you ready to bring your relationship to its highest expression?